Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Privacy Problems

My 8 year old was very upset today. She wants me to throw away her beloved snow owl stuffed animal. Apparently, her 4 year old sister sat on it with her privacy showing. I will be starting a foundation to support abandoned snow owl stuffed animals who have been the victims of privacies. Donations can be sent to The Mislabeled Privacy Group. Thank you.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Breaks Over

Life happens, especially with an army of kids continuously staging a revolt around me. But, it's time to get back to writing and I am literally laughing all day with (or at) my kids. Yesterday, my 4 year old woke up hysterical because someone had stolen her backbone over night. After crying for 5 minutes, I calmed her down and assured her that she still had a backbone but the feeling of its demise was only a result of being subject to an oppressive two party system. She felt that D.J. Lance Rock could fix the situation and I think she might be on to something . . .

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Superhero Doctor

Six year old to the 4 year old: "Hey! Aren't you a superhero doctor?"

Four year old, wearing nothing but rainbow striped stretchy pants and a shiny red superhero cape: "Yeah. But sometimes they call me stupid head."

Six year old: "Why do they call you stupid head?"

Four year old: "Because I am stupid and I'm naked."

Monday, February 17, 2014

I am so high!

I hear my four year old yelling, " I am so high! I am so high!" I walked in the room not knowing what to expect. She was third in a Mario Kart game.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Dinosaur Privates

5 year old: "Oh my gosh! That is DISGUSTING!"
Me: "Wow. That just can't be accurately to scale."

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Crazy Kids

My five year old is lying in face down on the living floor in her pink princess nightgown.
Me: "Are you feeling alright?"

5 Year Old: "My tummy kind of hurts. If only I could rest from those crazy kids [referring to her two sisters]"

Monday, August 19, 2013

Polar Bear Polar Bear

My 5 year, "reading" an Eric Carle book to her 18 month old sister, "leopard leopard  what do you hear? I hear a peacock pissing in my ear."

Maybe I should re-think interpretive reading.